Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Personal Valentine's Day thoughts & link love...

This afternoon I stumbled upon a great blog post over at Tiny Buddha- Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives, and felt compelled to share it in honor of Valentine's Day. This particular blog is filled with fantastic advice and practical positive-living content.  I highly recommend it.

On Valentine's Day, the Internet and media always seems to be littered with 2 holiday extremes: the jaded and the mushy.  After 15 years of marriage, I view a holiday like Valentine's Day much differently than I did almost 19 years ago when Steve and I initially met. 

A loving and successful relationship is indeed a journey not a destination.   It is a constantly changing and shifting entity, much like Life in general.   People are inherently flawed.  We just are.  I have found that in those couples who don't "go the distance", many times at least one or both people in the relationship weren't paying close attention during the "good times and bad" part the vows.  They are there for a reason.

Life is indeed a ride. You need someone who will get behind you and give you a boost when struggling to overcome the bumps.  Someone who will help pull you out of the valleys when you feel like you will never dig yourself out. Most important, someone who will lift their arms, smile, and enjoy the ride side-by-side with you when times are good.

Regardless, this article is beautifully stated ...

What Love Isn't

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle.
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is,
right here and now.”   ~Fred Rogers

Over the years, we form a lot of ideas about what love is, oftentimes based on unrealistic hopes and standards. We learn what we think it’s supposed to look like, and we may find ourselves frustrated when reality falls short.

It often does. Love can be messy, confusing, and imperfect, just like us, and life itself.

What Hallmark cards don’t always tell us is what love isn’t, but sometimes we need to strip away ideals in order to understand and appreciate what’s real.

Love isn’t always patient.
Sometimes we get short, brusque, or frustrated with the people we love the most. Love is, however, recognizing that, taking a few deep breaths, and then doing our best to see the people we care about with compassion and understanding.

Love isn’t always kind.
Sometimes we say things we later regret to the people we love the most. Love is, however, recognizing that, taking responsibility, and then doing our best to be caring and considerate in our future interactions.

Love isn’t always selfless.
Sometimes we fail to consider the needs of the people we love the most. Love is, however, recognizing that, taking their feelings into account, and then doing our best to find a balance between giving and taking.

Love isn’t always trusting.
Sometimes we doubt the people we love the most. Love is, however, recognizing that, taking a close look at where our suspicions really come from, and then doing our best to see the best in people instead of assuming the worst.

Love sometimes envies.
Love is sometimes easily angered. Love sometimes keeps a record of wrongs. Love does all these things because we sometimes do these things
Acknowledging this doesn’t mean condoning it.
It means recognizing that love doesn’t cure us of our natural human tendency to make mistakes.

Love doesn’t fail because we mess up from time to time.
It fails when we fail to accept that we all do, and then think something is wrong instead of making things right.

Love isn’t life without conflict.
It’s about wanting and working to overcome it together.