Monday, January 4, 2010

A little more personal this AM...

2010. Wow. *sigh* It's still hard to believe?!

I love New Years as simply, it's the ideal time to stop and reflect. Though cliché in concept, as the calender flips over to the next year... it's always my cue to pause. My time to examine where I started and where I ended up landing. My time to reassess where I want to be. My time to determine whether I am headed in the right direction or not.

New Years is the ideal threshold to determine what worked for you over the past 12 months and what you want to change. What you need to change in order to be happy and content and fulfilled.

2009 was a difficult year for many around us. We have friends and loved ones in need of jobs, at risk of losing their homes, navigating their way through unhealthy relationships, and/or battling life threatening illness. Steve and I are both extremely grateful that we can bid farewell to 2009 with a nod and a grin. Though 2009 handed us our fair share of challenges like anyone else, we tried to take them with a grain of salt. We tried not to sweat the small stuff.

The biggest lesson that I learned in 2009 was to follow my instinct. My gut. Though I have always had a strong inner voice, constantly tugging at my ear... contemplate this, try that, cut loose of those... I have not always had the courage to listen. This year, I tried to change that.

The fact is, people change. Situations change. What was once fun and rewarding and healthy can turn heavy and binding and toxic in the blink of an eye. I have started to let those things go. I have begun to explore new possibilities and directions. I feel like I have broken though a number of holding patterns, am exploring new territory, and it has been liberating.

I have learned to enjoy today more, instead of stressing about tomorrow or next week. I look at my boys and it's the thing that I envy most about childhood: the ability to live for the moment and enjoy each day, each second for what it is. No stress, no worry, no projection.

We burden ourselves with too much baggage as adults and spouses and daughters and employees and friends. So much so, we forget to enjoy each day for it's simplicity. We forget to notice and find joy in the small things: the warmth of the sun on your face, singing along to your favorite song in the car, the giggle of your children, the blades of grass or grains of sand between your toes, the unconditional love of a pet, the first sip of coffee in the AM, a surprise call from an old friend, waking up to find your garden in bloom, the contentment of being surrounded by those you love.

Though I don't appreciate ALL aspects of being in my mid-30's, I appreciate the wisdom that the wrinkles bring. I have learned to accept the fact that Life happens while you are making other plans. Life is often like riding rapids. Some people choose to frantically grasp the raft, heart palpitating as they try to take control and steer or manipulate in a particular direction. Some fall off. Some drown.

I, myself, have learned to succumb, lay on my back, allow my body to move with the waves and bumps, and enjoy the ride for what it is. That's what Life is intended to be, after all... an adventure.

I look forward to the journey into 2010 and can't wait to see what it has in store. I am incredibly fortunate and humbled by the amount of blessings that I have in my life:
I have a job that I love and that still excites me even after 8 years, friends who make me laugh, a supportive husband who loves me for who I am, 2 amazing little boys who enrich my life every second of every day and make me a better person, and a loving family that despite recent challenges as certain health issues are faced and the future is unknown... enjoyed an amazing holiday season together.

If 2010 even compares to 2009, I will be incredibly thankful.

Thanks for enjoying the journey with me. Happy, happy New Year and I am glad to be back and blogging in 2010... =)